This weekend, I had to do a simple home repair: Swap out a ceiling fan. That’s it. My father-in-law has done this more than 30 times in his life – and bless him, he reminded me plenty. But I failed. Three times over two whole days.

Until I finally got it right, that is. To make myself feel a little better, I researched if this was something I was alone in.

Thank God, I’m not.

The Harris Poll surveyed my generation on our confidence in home repairs back in 2019. Turns out only 1 in 5 Millennial homeowners feel confident with a fan installation on their own. Nearly 3 in 4 (74%) of Millennials name home maintenance, and 68% name home improvement projects, as the most stressful parts of owning a home, says a Home Depot survey.

“Our research has shown that lack of proper knowledge, tools and time were the top barriers for millennials navigating home improvement projects,” said Molly Battin, senior vice president and chief marketing officer at The Home Depot, “which is especially stressful for a generation of current and soon-to-be first-time homeowners.”

There are a few lessons I learned from this project on procrastination, perseverance, and honestly letting go of negativity. The next project won’t be easier but tapping into this experience will remind me to keep from blowing my top when the going gets tough.

Procrastination

My wife and I literally lived without the light in our ceiling fan for weeks. We both work full-time and are still in the toddler phase of parenthood. That makes Saturdays and Sundays our only free family time – and even those get broken into chunks between our daughter’s sleep and feeding schedule.

The fan broke on July 1. I didn’t buy a replacement until August 18 – nearly seven weekends later. I’d gone to Lowe’s and snapped a photo of the model I liked back on July 26, then sat on it for another three weeks before actually buying one. That day, we went out for lunch and beers, because that’s often how we celebrate the end of a workweek.

Even on the Saturday I finally started the project, my wife thought I should’ve have saved it for Sunday instead. After I finished – Sunday afternoon – she thanked me for getting started when I did. Here’s the thing: I didn’t think it would take an entire weekend.

Lesson No. 1 moving forward: never wait on these projects. I didn’t even buy the fan until four days before I actually installed it. That tells me even buying the materials early isn’t the fix on its own – I need to put an actual date on the calendar and hold myself to it.

Perseverance

Ever heard the saying “when you marry someone, you marry their family too”? It’s true. And I’m very lucky to have the in-laws that I do.

My father wasn’t a good role model. Growing up he was impatient, impulsive, immature. He got married at 19, had three kids by age 23, and it’s safe to say he hasn’t changed much with age. His behavior when my brother, sister, and I were young is a big reason why the three of us waited until our 30s to start families.

There is a level of maturity and security we have all established that this project was a direct example of. Tom, my father-in-law, has already installed two of these ceiling fans in my current home. I thought it’d be simple for him and I just follow along.

We both learned the master bedroom was different. The first fan model I purchased didn’t have a traditional grounding wire setup like he was used to. The second was too small to fit the circumference of the canopy in my ceiling. The third was larger but once again missing the grounding wire.

I also needed new hardware and finally a ceiling fan medallion – something neither he nor I had heard of before. It took five trips to the Lowe’s next to my house, three ceiling fan returns, and three times installing and taking down those fans from my ceiling.

Let go of negativity

This year, I started medication and therapy as treatment for General Anxiety Disorder. As part of my therapy, my psychologist and I often go through my childhood because it lines up with my diagnosis a year into being a new father.

I grew up in a home where my father was often irrational. He shouted a lot, made tough situations (like home improvements) out to be liek something only he had ever faced, and constantly played the pity party.

This weekend and blog post are only one entry of times I’m reminded of my father and how I want be different. While installing the fan after the final trip and sure the medallion recommendations was the final fix – I still couldn’t rotate this ceiling fan in.

I was huffing and puffing when my father-in-law smirked and once again said “Nothing’s ever easy.” He told me to turn the canopy one more time. The fan was in place, installed, but the final screw was a bit off.

But he managed to screw it in tight enough to keep the canopy in place and the fan from falling from the ceiling. We started this project at 8 am on Saturday and finally had it installed by noon on Sunday.

I’m now confident I can install another ceiling fan in the future. I’m just going to plan ahead, take my time, and laugh it off when things go wrong. Because like my father-in-law says “nothing’s ever easy.” That’s the truth. A little reminder helps when things get hard.